I know that I have been a failure in Life. No one needs to remind me that. No one needs to show sympathy for that. It hurts to be a failure. Especially, when all that you adored and built with your whatever integrity you could muster at every stage of your life is destroyed. Especially, when you valued your character the most and aspersions have been cast on it irreparably. To build a character, it takes a life time. To smear it and destroy, it hardly takes any time. And to those whom you cared for, it is even more easy to destroy you.
To the outside world, I am always a helping person, a lovable company and a jovial and friendly person. An unassuming and a simpleton. And a straightforward and plain guy. These have been my biggest strengths; and biggest weaknesses. Add to that my laziness and inferiority complex - enough to give me failure for a prolonged period of Life. The last success I have seen in Life was in 2008. After that, it has been only failures in Life.
Why am I still around? A question I keep asking myself once in a while. One answer is pure laziness. Second answer is my good fortune to be able to adjust to reality and bear with the intense surge of pains of failure. I have got used to it. It hurts deeply at times but I have tried to create ways to numb it down and also, see value for myself in this country where human resources are being wasted like crazy. So, I know that despite being a failure to myself, I am still way better off than a lot of people and therefore my contributions are still relevant. This hope keeps me going. Remaining everything else seems to be a farce - except of course the simple things that I deeply enjoy. BTW, just because some things are simple and/or easily available one must never ignore their beauty and/or importance. Those are the only things that give value to Life. Banality after all is not a bane. This is my Failure story.
To the outside world, I am always a helping person, a lovable company and a jovial and friendly person. An unassuming and a simpleton. And a straightforward and plain guy. These have been my biggest strengths; and biggest weaknesses. Add to that my laziness and inferiority complex - enough to give me failure for a prolonged period of Life. The last success I have seen in Life was in 2008. After that, it has been only failures in Life.
Why am I still around? A question I keep asking myself once in a while. One answer is pure laziness. Second answer is my good fortune to be able to adjust to reality and bear with the intense surge of pains of failure. I have got used to it. It hurts deeply at times but I have tried to create ways to numb it down and also, see value for myself in this country where human resources are being wasted like crazy. So, I know that despite being a failure to myself, I am still way better off than a lot of people and therefore my contributions are still relevant. This hope keeps me going. Remaining everything else seems to be a farce - except of course the simple things that I deeply enjoy. BTW, just because some things are simple and/or easily available one must never ignore their beauty and/or importance. Those are the only things that give value to Life. Banality after all is not a bane. This is my Failure story.
1 comment:
I disagree with you. From my standpoint, which is neutral, I see you as a resounding success. There are many reasons for this. I recently tried to get a job in India. It is not very easy. You have succeeded in doing so. You have been working for MNC that have a great name. While you may write it off, I feel its a great success. Secondly, your emotional turnaround is something I personally witnesses. Having been in worse places than you have been emotionally, I can strongly assert that it is not easy to climb back. You did. You are plotting your success in a very worldly materialistic and rather selfishly personal view. Do you realize how many people you have helped just by talking them through tough times? Do you realize how much you have contributed to people's lives? Although you may feel pain, you are not a failure in my opinion. Indeed, it is true that only successful people who have set a high bar for themselves feel this way, as evidenced by history. I agree you are lazy. But you are a resounding success. And what beats your laziness is your humility and resilience.
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