Saturday, June 14, 2014

Self Denigration

Last six years of my life have been filled with self-denigration during considerable chunk of my solitude and those innumerable moments when I live with myself. There were some brief periods when I went into the folds of self-pity too. I think I did manage to escape that somehow, lest it would have been a bigger disaster.

There were/are countless moments when I wrote in my diary and typed on the computer, one of Sir Winston Churchill's quote, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts"

True, every person when compared to a higher achiever or more successful person look smaller in stature and persona, so where to draw the line?

There have been long periods, when few people around me rattled me both in my professional and personal lives, even when I came to peace with myself and my capabilities. This has been particularly a source of discomfort and motivator too. Among all things, I personally believe that I do have positive attitude towards life in general, though I am highly volatile, complacent, laid back and over a period of time become less ambitious.

While I would certainly not give myself a distinction, I can certainly not agree that I don't deserve the pass mark. Two years ago,  I wrote a poem in Telugu about Failure(ఓటమి) and it seems to have become as much inspiration to me as the Churchill's quote.